Choose You. Always…

I thought of writing today but as I stared at the blank screen, I realized I had nothing to say. They say every day is a chance to write your story but today I just couldn’t figure out what chapter I was on. I have literally been typing and retyping the same line like I am stuck in a loop.

For the first time in a long time I find myself in a place where I feel free. Is it because I have learnt to see things differently or is my quarter life crisis kicking in? At least one thing is for sure, nothing scares me anymore.

In the world we live in kindness is so rare, any good gesture raises an eyebrow. It is not easy to be your brother’s keeper in a game that is clearly rigged. The rules don’t apply anymore and it is almost as if our own existence like that of animals depends on the survival of the fittest, in our case the craftiest.

Recently a friend of mine asked me where I saw myself in the next five years, it was such a weird question I laughed. I mean who just drops a random question when right in the middle of a roasting contest, which I was winning. The last time I answered that question was probably during a job interview and of course the response was well thought and crafted. A lie.

It actually took me time to think about my life and understand the question. This wasn’t about having the best response and winning the game, it was about me. My life. My dreams. My goals. I couldn’t craft my way out of this, I felt trapped. Honestly, where was I really seeing myself in five years?

This useless question gnawed at me for days, I tried to block and ignore it but it always made its way back. The saddest bit was not that I didn’t know the answer, I did. My problem was that I wanted it to be perfect, a sure deal but I just couldn’t guarantee that. How can I plan where I want to be in the next five years when literally every single day is a gamble.

In my utopia, I am happy, fulfilled…Oh wait, of course rich. My only problem is how to get there. You see they teach you how to fish but nobody really tells you where to get the fish. Everyone is obsessed with the catch and filling their own nets. Which takes me back to the phrase, survival of the fittest.

I think after a month of avoiding my friend who was genuinely pissing me off the whole time, I finally had a response. I knew what I wanted and where I wanted to be.  I had decided that with every plan and every foundation I was laying there on, I was going to choose my happiness.

I once wrote an article on bullies and my takeaway was that we can’t control how people treat us but we can control and choose how we respond to them. I believe it applies when we are making our life choices, we can choose our happiness and control how we react to the issues around us.

That being said, are the people in our lives really mean or do we simply put a lot of expectations on them? Sometimes we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure without realizing it. Maybe if we lowered our expectations just a little bit, we might just realize how better life can be.

When you expect nothing from people, you lose nothing. An expectation is a like bet, only you are staking your heart, feelings, future, friends, life and many other important things. Like Dodinsky says: ‘The key to being happy is knowing you have the power to choose what to accept and what to let go.’ Choose you. Always.

And by the way have at least one friend who can keep you racking your brain and leave you feeling worthless once in a while. It pays off, eventually. Lol.

Back to basics, I decided to go with this beautiful outfit because I loved it. It totally has nothing to do with what I just talked about. Even the shoot wasn’t planned but I must say spontaneity goes a long way as you can see on the photos below. Let me know what you think.

32 thoughts on “Choose You. Always…

    1. And by the way have at least one friend who can keep you racking your brain and leave you feeling worthless once in a while. It pays off, eventually. Lol.
      This quite hit home.. Choose you always! Good piece.. and from the photo shoot you are the epitome of spontaneity..

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hey Lolita, thanks for this insightful post. Untill I read this post, I wasent aware that any good gesture raises eyebrows. Wha a great, inspiring post from a true scholar. Super job!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love how you involve you audiences.. You understand the story will be read by all but eventually it will still be about fashion… What you love… I can’t wait for the next article

    Liked by 1 person

  3. The outfit, is stunning. As always.. Creative 💯.
    The read is powerful. As a friend of mine always say “Kila siku tafuta happiness, hiyo kitu ni priceless”..

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love how you simply put it, ‘it’s not easy to be your brother’s keeper in a game that’s clearly rigged!…’
    The piece is nice. I love the bold tone you’ve used throughout the article, even when admitting the challenge paused to you by the friend who asked about your half-decade plans😀
    But again, this got me thinking too, as to how one can plan in such hopeless times!
    For the pics, I can only say nature must have been so generous as to award you a winely-beauty; it becomes better with the passing of time.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Awesome piece. Well articulated. Always choose self love above every other thing.

    Your sense of fashion is enviable. Trés bien 👏👏👏👏

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Your writing has greatly improved my dear!!!!wow Someone will think you have been doing this for years. When is that book coming out?

    Liked by 1 person

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